I’m an Author. Really.

By Yvonne Heidt

So, what does an author do on the days she has the attention span of a gnat on crack, a myriad of visiting ghosts, and four – count ‘em – four attention-seeking dogs crawling under her desk, scratching her legs, and begging to be cuddled?

I’ll tell you what she has a hard time doing…

… working and writing!

This is what one of those days looks like.

Flutter my eyes when my awesome wife comes in to kiss me goodbye for the day.

 (Aw, right?)

Get out of bed. I need coffee, coffee, #wheresthefreakingcoffee?

Wish a good morning to my four dogs. Stagger to the back door to let them out if they so wish.

I drink at least two cups (let’s get real – they’re large mugs) of coffee and Deja, my Labrador, has dropped a sloppy blue ball at my feet. If I refuse to play, Deja has gotten quite adept at tossing it in my face – or in some instances, my coffee. Max, my Shitzu, has presented me with his tattered elephant head he loves as a child. Hey, what can I do?

By the time I’m awake enough to make the bed, Deja has claimed it, and won’t budge.  Have I mentioned she weighs ninety pounds? She would get off I made her, but geez, she looks too comfortable.

I’ll have to do that later.

I have a wonderful friend who texts me – every day – a cheerful good morning. And, if I don’t throw the phone, I’ll answer it if I’m able. By able, I mean if my mood is either great – or bad enough I’ll explode if I don’t. Unless of course, my spidey sense tells me she needs me. We’ve got it like that. Awesome, right? Having psychic friends is all kinds of wonderful.

Is the bed made yet? Am I dressed yet?  These are important questions!

Whether I’m at my desk and keyboard (or not) precisely at 9:00 – every day, without fail, I receive a text from my wife: “Good morning and I love you.”

(Aw, right?)

Am I working yet?

Well, that depends on whether or not I’ve made the bed or gotten dressed… AND if I haven’t picked up my Kindle or the paperback I’m currently re-reading for the umpteenth time. In which case I promise myself I’ll only read the chapter and then I reset my goal to be in the office by 10…

I’m serious. I tell myself, leave that book on the table, don’t do it, don’t do it, but I rarely listen.

The dogs have recovered from their naps, must be play time again. Or bone time. Or snack time. Or I have to lay-on-you-right-now-or-I’ll-die-time. Or let me out, let me in, let me out. It would be nice if they all went out at the same time – but they don’t.  They each have their own little personality quirks, and I’m a sucker for all of them. We don’t have the option for a doggy door – and Missy, my oldest Shitzu, is fifteen. When she wants anything – I give it to her. When the sweetest dog of all, our little Docker, Lulu wants cuddles, she gets them.

I have labeled myself the dog nanny. They have me all day, every day.  

But I digress…

10, 11, 12…

Still not in the office chair. Yes, I feel horribly guilty.

12:03 – My wife calls – again - every day, without fail J  she asks me how my day is going. Depending on the day it’s either, I’m working and flying through my current work in process – OR – I can’t get off the couch. On one of those days her answer is always, “Don’t worry honey, go ahead and rest for the rest of the day, you’ll get there tomorrow. I love you.”

(Aww, right?)

I make promises to myself to get my ass in the office chair first thing in the morning.

Bedtime runs along the same line, I’m still slapping myself around because I didn’t type that day – or if I’m lucky, I get a great idea that I promise myself I will remember in the morning.

But I rarely do.

On the bright side, on one of those days I could be hanging out on the couch with a yellow pad of paper and inspiration will strike. I can write ten pages of dialog, trip around in a haunted asylum, create and describe nightmares that would knock your socks off, and solve a character’s issues. If I’m on a roll – twenty pages isn’t a stretch.

Because I can type them into the computer tomorrow…

Right?

All seriousness aside, I love my job and I wouldn’t trade it for any other. I’m extremely grateful I have readers who follow my fictional journeys and I’ve made friends for life in the community.

I can promise there are many good and excellent days where I DO manage to make it into the office but for that play by play (and the myriad of visiting ghosts) You’ll have to keep tuning in for that’s another blog.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. I hope you have an awesome day – I’ll be happy today because I’m right where I want to be – typing.

Yvonne Heidt is the author of - Meet Me in the Middle.